It is time to elect the world leader and your vote counts. 

Here are the facts about the three leading candidates:
Candidate 1
Associates with crooked politicians and consults with astrologists.
He's had at least two mistresses.  He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.
Candidate 2
He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whisky every evening.
Candidate 3
He is a decorated war hero.  He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and hasn't had any extramarital affairs.???